Repentance is a word that is often used in the Bible, but it’s also one of the most misunderstood words in all of Scripture. For this episode of the GRIZ podcast, Jason wants to help you understand what repentance truly is, and he wants you to see how it relates to the daily battle that we men face with porn and purity.
According to a 2014 study conducted by the Barna Group, 64% of men who identify themselves as “Christian” say they look at porn at least once per month.
In this episode, Jason gets extremely vulnerable, and shares his personal story of porn addiction, salvation, transformation, falling back into porn, and then the painful and beautiful process of repentance.
As a Christian man, I totally understand that it’s wrong to look at porn. That’s not the real struggle. God’s Word is crystal clear on that issue (see Matthew 5:27-30 and 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 if you need help with that issue).
When it comes to porn, the real struggle that most of us face (as Christian men) is staying motivated to stay the heck away from it. Let me say that again … when it comes to porn, the real struggle that most of us face (as Christian men) is staying motivated to stay the heck away from it.
As you know, sexual temptation is everywhere. I believe we are living in the most pornified culture in all of human history. Because of advancements in technology, sexual temptation (in particular … porn) has never been as easily accessible as it is today. Things like computers, tablets, and smartphones can be a real benefit to our lives, but they can also be an ever-present temptation that lures away from the obedient and holy life that God has called us to live.
So, to give myself a fresh shot of motivation, every single morning I remind myself of 52 reasons why I need to stay the heck away from porn. I call it … My Personal Purity Motivation, and it typically takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to read through it or to listen to it on my iPhone. Yes, I have a recording of myself reading through all 52 reasons. I listen to it when I’m having my morning quiet-time – or when I’m driving to work in the morning – or when I’m working out at the gym.
I’ve learned the hard way that my heart and mind desperately need this daily shot of motivation. By me reviewing My Personal Purity Motivation at the beginning of my day, it always has a purifying impact upon the rest of my day.
I don’t care who you are … the temptation to look at porn can lure, deceive, and bewitch all of us! It doesn’t matter if you’re a pastor, youth pastor, worship leader, missionary, theology professor, whatever. We’re all susceptible to it, and that’s exactly why God says what he says in 1 Corinthians 10:12, “ … let any man who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall.”
I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again and again and again … Far godlier men than you and I have fallen to sexual temptation.
Remember King David?
Remember the episode I did on “Fatal Mistakes … Home Alone and Bored” … ?
Ring a bell?
He is a prime example that far godlier men than you and I have fallen to sexual temptation.
This is the reason why I daily review My Personal Purity Motivation … and this is also why I constantly encourage my brothers in Christ (especially those who have a past with pornography addiction like I do) to develop their own Personal Purity Motivation. All you’ve got to do is take a few minutes on your computer (or smart phone) and type-up your own list of reasons as to why you need to stay the heck away from porn (and … every other type of sexual sin, because looking at porn is not the only sexual sin). Anyway … after you type it up, print it out, and keep a copy of it in your planner or your Bible or some place where you can easily access it.
If you want to, you can even record yourself reading through your reasons — and you can keep that recording on your smartphone just like I do. You see, you gotta start using that smartphone for something smart … something good, righteous, healthy, and beneficial. Instead of using it for something dumb … like sinful pleasure that will destroy your life!
You can use it to record yourself reading through all your reasons, and then you can listen to it on your way to school – or on your way to work – or when you’re at the gym working out – or wherever.
And I want you to feel free to use any of my reasons (that I’m about to give you) for your own Personal Purity Motivation. I don’t consider it plagiarism. Don’t worry, I’m not going to call my attorney and try to sue you. If my bullets fit your gun, take em and shoot em! I don’t care. Dude, that makes me happy! That’s why I’m giving them to you. All 52 of them.
I’m telling you … this daily shot of motivation is a HUGE help to me. It’s an extremely powerful weapon in the daily battle for personal purity. It’s not the only weapon I use, but it’s definitely one of my most powerful weapons in my spiritual arsenal. I’ll be sharing more weapons with you in upcoming episodes of the GRIZ podcast.
Alright, that’s enough of an introduction. I need to give you my 52 reasons why I (as a Christian Man) need to stay the heck away from porn …
Reason #1 … For the glory of God which is my first and foremost reason for living.
Scripture Reference: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 and 10:31
Reason #2 … Because the old, sinful, unbelieving me died with Christ on the cross, and the new me has been raised with Christ. I’m now a free and new creation in Him and I’m commanded to walk in the newness of life, continually presenting all of my members (that’s my body parts) to God as instruments of righteousness.
Reason #4 … Because God purchased me with the shed blood of His Son, Jesus Christ. I’m not my own. My heart, mind, and body (even my eyes and my penis) now belong to God. My body is the temple of His Holy Spirit.
Scripture Support: 1 Peter 1:18-19; Mark 10:45; Romans 8:14-17; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Galatians 4:4-7; John 1:12; 1 John 3:1
Reason #5 … Because looking at porn is totally self-centered and self-exalting. It’s all about putting my pleasures and desires before the glory of God and the good of others … and that totally contradicts the manly life that God’s called me to live.
Scripture Support: 1 Corinthians 16: 13-14 and 10:31; John 3:30; Matthew 22:36-40
Reason #6 … Because those who continue to live a life of unrepentant sexual lust/sin reveal that they don’t truly know Christ as their Savior and Lord. I don’t care what they say they believe or what prayer they prayed to ask Jesus to come into their heart … if they continue to live a life of unrepentant sexual lust/sin, then that reveals that they don’t truly know Christ as their Savior and Lord, and that means they’re going to spend eternity separated from God in Hell.
Scripture Support: Matthew 5:27-30; Matthew 7:21-23; Luke 6:46; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Ephesians 5:3-17; 1 John 2:3-6 and 3:6-10; Revelation 21:8 and 27 and 22:15
Reason #7 … Because when you really think about it, looking at porn is nothing more than worshipping the creature/creation (women and sex) over the Creator (Christ), and that’s idolatry … and God commands me to keep myself from idols and worship Him alone. Remember, He is a jealous God.
Reason #8 … Because God’s will for my Christian life is that I completely “abstain” from every form of “sexual immorality.”
Scripture Support: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4
Reason #9 … Because Jesus Christ can return at any time to take His people home to Heaven (it’s called the rapture), and that “blessed hope” should motivate me to live a godly life in this ungodly world.
Scripture Support: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18; Titus 2:12-13; John 14:3; Matthew 24:30-31; 1 Corinthians 15:51-53; 1 John 3:3
Reason #10 … Because I’m going to stand before God at the “Judgment Seat of Christ” and give an account for how I lived my Christian life, and I don’t want to waste another minute of it looking at porn.
Reason #11 … Because I’m a citizen of Heaven and this sinful world is not my true home.
Scripture Support: Philippians 3:20; John 15:19; 1 Peter 1:4 & 2:11; Matthew 7:13-14; Hebrews 11:13-16 & 13:14; Galatians 4:7; Colossians 3:1-4; Hebrews 11:13-16
Reason #12 … Because I’m an ambassador of Christ to this lost world … not just with my words or my preaching, but also by living an authentic life of purity without any kind of secret sin. When I “abstain” from lust, porn, and every other type of sexual-sin like God tells me to in 1 Thessalonians 4:3, it identifies and distinguishes me from unbelievers who don’t know God, and that is an extremely powerful and effective evangelistic witness to them. I see so many Christian dudes who are trying to identify with Christ and distinguish themselves from unbelievers by wearing some sort of Christian t-shirt – or a cross necklace – or they get some kind of Christian tattoo … and man, listen, I’m not saying that those things are bad, but God has called us to identify ourselves with Him and distinguish ourselves from unbelievers by living a life of holiness, obedience, and love for Him and love for others!
Scripture Support: 2 Corinthians 5:20; 1 Peter 2:12; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; Matthew 5:16; John 13:35; Matthew 7:15-20; Galatians 5:22-23
Reason #13 … Because I’m a warrior for Christ, and God’s called me to fight the good fight of faith and holiness until the day I die. That means I daily need to have all my spiritual armor on (Ephesians 6:10-18), and be continually battling against the spiritual forces of darkness and battling against my old sinful flesh … doing whatever it takes to kill my personal sin, rather than indulge in it.
Reason #14 … Because looking at porn is unmanly. It completely goes against the divine mandate that God gave men to love and care for women. Real men are self-denying and sacrificial protectors and providers. They don’t dominate, harm, and exploit women.
Reason #15 … Because there’s no such thing as secret … in reality, God sees everything that I do and think. He’s sees absolutely everything going on in my heart and mind. He is omnipresent and omniscient.
Reason #17 … Because there’s no such thing as secret … in the spiritual realm, I’m actually being observed by angels, demons, and even possibly by believers in Heaven. Do I really want them to see me looking at porn and masturbating?
Reason #18 … Because there’s no such thing as secret … in reality, my Internet Service Provider (my I.S.P.) is tracking all of my Internet activity, and the U.S. Government is also capable of monitoring and recording all of my Internet and phone activity. Remember Edward Snowden and the whole N.S.A. thing? Hello!
Reason #22 … Because whatever I continually put before my eyes and mind will shape and determine what kind of man I am. “What you behold, you become!” … And I’m commanded to “behold” and “become” like Christ.
Reason #23 … Because looking at porn hinders my close fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Even scientific studies reveal that porn-use hinders a man’s ability to emotionally connect with others.
Scripture Support: 1 Corinthians 10:21 and 1 John 1:7
Reason #24 … Because looking at porn makes me a divided and double-minded man with an accusing conscience, and that causes me to lose my inner peace, joy, strength, and confidence. I’ve always felt intense feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, and even sickness after I’ve looked at porn – and those feelings don’t easily or quickly go away. You know, even scientific research now reveals that porn-use contributes to serious mental and emotional problems like anxiety and depression.
Reason #25 … Because looking at porn brings my Heavenly Father’s loving discipline upon my life, and I don’t want any more of that! I’ve had enough of God’s very painful spankings that are designed to refine me!
Reason #26 … Because looking at porn can prevent many of God’s blessings upon my life, family, and ministry. Again, my personal purity is not just about me! I don’t want to do anything to hinder God’s blessings upon my family and ministry. That’s so selfish!
Scripture Support: Deuteronomy 12:28; Psalms 84:11; Jeremiah 5:25; Luke 11:28; James 1:12-15; 21-25; 1 Corinthians 10:24
Reason #27 … Because I will NEVER find real joy, comfort, relief, and satisfaction in porn. Those things can only be found in my relationship with God. All porn does is scratch the itch and make my “issues” worse. Porn and masturbation can NEVER give me the real joy, comfort, relief, and satisfaction that my soul craves and needs.
Scripture Support: Proverbs 27:20; Ecclesiastes 1:8 & 1:14; Ezekiel 16:28; John 4:13-14; Psalm 37:4; Matthew 5:6
Reason #28 … Because of the many Christian men/leaders I know who’ve ruined their Christian testimony, marriage, family, and ministry (all because of their secret sexual sin). God has sovereignly and graciously allowed me to see their ruin to warn and instruct me in the way I should go … to see that far godlier men than I have fallen to sexual temptation. Take heed!
Scripture Support: 1 Corinthians 10:6 and 10:12; Galatians 6:7; Romans 8:6; 2 Samuel 11 (the story of King David and Bathsheba)
Reason #29 … Because many people trust and look up to me as a spiritual leader – as an example worth following, and I don’t want to let them down or be some sort of “stumbling block” in their Christian life. They need me to be the real deal (on and off the stage). Again, my personal purity is not just about me!
Reason #30 … Because looking at porn kills my power and passion to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with non-believers, and I need that power and passion to fulfill my calling as an evangelist! Again, my personal purity is not just about me!
Scripture Support: Mark 16:15-16; Acts 1:8; Romans 1:16 and 10:14-17; 1 Corinthians 9:16; 1 Timothy 4:12-16
Reason #31 … Because looking at porn hinders my ability to make wise-godly decisions. Even scientific studies have revealed that when men look at porn their brain releases dopamine (the pleasure chemical), and the release of dopamine severely impairs the ability of the decision-making part of their brain (the pre-frontal cortex) to operate effectively … and that’s the reason why so many men who look at porn end up doing incredibly stupid and even illegal things that they will regret for the rest of their lives.
Reason #32 … Because scientific research reveals that looking at porn artificially raises my baseline levels of dopamine (the pleasure chemical in my brain) which makes me need extra hits of dopamine (more porn use) just to feel good or normal. This is one of the reasons why so many guys who look at porn often feel depressed, unmotivated, anxious, and anti-social. Their brain has literally grown accustom to the raised dopamine levels … to the point that they can’t even enjoy the normal and simple pleasures of life. Their porn use has altered and distorted their brain to the point that the only thing that makes them feel good or normal is using porn to trigger the release of dopamine. Just like a drug addict. This is one of the many reasons why God says that sexual sin is a sin against your own body. It literally destroys you from the inside-out!
FYI (Fo Yo Info-mation) = When you completely quit porn for a significant period of time, studies also reveal that your brain chemicals do return to normal levels and the impact upon your everyday life is positive and noticeable.
Reason #33 … Because a little sin always leads to more sin and worse sin. Sin never remains little or “softcore.” NEVER! … That’s not the nature of sin. Sin always to takes you deeper than you planned to go. It’s like a spiritual malignant tumor that gradually grows and spreads, infecting and destroying every good thing in your life. Sin will NEVER be satisfied until it has completely taken over your entire life and destroyed you! This is also why a man who looks at softcore porn soon finds himself looking at more graphic, more perverted, and even illegal forms of porn just to get the same high or pleasure that he used feel. A little sin always leads to more sin and worse sin!
Scripture Support: Genesis 4:7; Proverbs 27:20; Ecclesiastes 1:8; 2 Samuel 11; 1 Corinthians 5:6; James 1:14-15
Reason #34 … Because when you’re a child of God, looking at porn is actually cheating on God, and He considers it spiritual-adultery. Remember, we (the church … believers in Christ) are the bride of Christ, and He expects His bride to be faithful and pure … just like I expect my bride, my wife, to be faithful and pure.
Reason #35 … Because looking at porn destroys my focus and motivation to achieve my personal mission and goals. Porn has a strange way of totally wrecking and derailing me from pursuing and fulfilling what truly matters most to me!
Reason #36 … Because looking at porn creates impulse-control problems in other areas of my life, like with over-eating, impulsive spending, outbursts of anger, etc. You can’t be impulsive and out of control in one area of your life (like with porn addiction) and not expect it to infect the other areas of your life. Again, that’s not how sin works! Sin never stays isolated to just one area of your life. It’s like a spiritual malignant tumor that will grow and spread and take over. That’s why as a believer, God commands me to live righteous and self-controlled in every area of my life.
Scripture Support: Proverbs 27:20; 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 and 13:4; Galatians 5:9; 5:22-23; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:19; Titus 1:8; 1 Peter 3:8; 4:7; 2 Peter 1:5-7
Reason #37 … Because looking at porn will embed even more sinful and perverted images into my mind (into my memory files), which only provides more kindling to easily ignite my old sinful flesh, and I don’t need any more kindling. God commands me to keep my mind pure and focused on good things that please Him and help make me a better man. I’m commanded to keep the TV channel of my mind on channel P48 … that’s Philippians 4:8!
Scripture Support: Romans 12:2 and Philippians 4:8
Reason #38 … Because porn ruins my ability to view females properly. When you really think about it, porn does nothing but devalue, objectify, and exploit females as nothing more than a consumable product for my selfish gratification. And that mindset always carries over into real-life, and it causes a man’s eyes and imagination to wander and fantasize whenever he’s around an attractive female in the real world. What I mean is … a man who looks at porn in private will also struggle with mentally undressing and fantasizing-over the attractive women whom he sees in public. And God commands me to view all females with pure eyes … just as Christ views them … and it’s totally impossible to do that if I’m secretly looking at porn.
Reason #40 … Because every female I look at is a real person whom Jesus Christ brutally suffered and died for on the cross, who desperately needs God’s mercy, grace, forgiveness, and healing.
Scripture Support: John 3:16 and Romans 5:6-8
Reason #41 … Because every female I look at is a real person who is someone’s daughter, and I’m commanded to do unto others as I want them to do unto me. Would I want a guy looking lustfully at my daughters? Heck no! Dude, I’d want to give him a flying knee to the face!
Scripture Support: Romans 12:10; 13:7; 1 Peter 2:17; Matthew 7:12
Reason #42 … Because just one click on a porn website actually increases revenue for pornographers, which actually contributes to the creation and production of more porn … and God strongly warns His children to not be involved in the devising, plotting, and production of evil. When you really think about it, the porn-viewers (the consumers) are really the porn-creators. They’re the ones who fuel the industry. So if I look at porn, I’m actually the one helping to create and produce more porn. It’s an extremely harmful cycle of supply and demand.
Reason #43 … Because looking at porn fuels an industry that enslaves, abuses, and traffics females. Many of the so called “performers” in porn are manipulated, coerced, blackmailed, threatened, physically abused, and forced to participate. Again, my personal purity is not just about me!
Scripture Support: Proverbs 24:11; Philippians 2:4; Luke 6:31
Reason #44 … Because 66 to 90% (the majority) of the women in the sex industry were sexually abused as children! They’re women who desperately need the freedom, hope, and healing that can only be found in Jesus Christ, and viewing porn only helps keep them wounded, enslaved, and without hope … and without healing. Again, my personal purity is not just about me!
Scripture Support: Proverbs 24:11; Philippians 2:4; Luke 6:31
Reason #45 … Because looking at porn is adultery of the heart. It’s a form of betraying and cheating on my wife. It breaks my marriage vow of “forsaking all others” for her alone.
Scripture Support: Matthew 5:27-30; Ephesians 5:25-30; James 5:12; Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
Reason #46 … Because looking at porn deeply disappoints and hurts my wife. It also makes her feel betrayed, insecure, unattractive, and not good enough for me … and it also completely destroys her trust and respect for me … and that could easily become a “stumbling block” in her own Christian life. And this is why over 50% of divorces in the U.S. in recent years, mention porn use by one of the spouses as a major contributing factor to the divorce.
Scripture Support: Ephesians 5:25 and 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Reason #47 … Because looking at porn destroys a husband’s sexual attraction and arousal for his wife, and God commands me to find all my sexual attraction and arousal in my wife alone. According to Dr. Norman Doidge, who wrote the book The Brain That Changes Itself, porn literally trains your brain to believe that real people (like your wife) are less rewarding than the female actors you see on a screen. This causes a husband to not only devalue his wife’s beauty and sexiness, but this is also why an increasing number of men (young and old) are struggling with erectile dysfunction. Through porn use, men literally condition their brain to only be aroused by the sinful perverted porn they see on a screen, and that’s one of the real reasons why so many cannot get erect to their own wife’s beauty and sexiness.
Scripture Support: Proverbs 5:15-19; Song of Solomon; 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
Reason #48 … Because looking at porn actually creates an emotional and spiritual separation between my wife and I, and God commands us to live as one. I’m telling you from first-hand experience, if I’m secretly looking at porn, it literally creates a bizarre emotional and spiritual separation between my wife and I, but living pure brings an emotional and spiritual oneness.
Scripture Support: Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31
Reason #49 … Because if my kids (my 3 kids) found out that their dad was looking at porn, it would completely destroy their trust and respect for me, and it could easily become a “stumbling block” in their own lives that leads them into serious sin. Again, my personal purity is not just about me! My personal purity affects all those around me – especially those who are closest to me, like my wife and kids.
Reason #50 … Because I want to be an authentic godly man whom my children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren can trust, respect, and imitate. The Bible makes it clear, that as a father, my life choices will affect the generations that come after me (for good or for evil). Again, my personal purity is not just about me! Pastor Robert Murray M’Cheyne said this, “My people’s greatest need is my personal holiness.”That means the thing that “my people” need most from me is for me to be an authentic godly man with no secret sin!
Reason #52 … Because I want to continue helping menescape porn addiction and live a godly life that God’s called them to live … a life that spiritually impacts others for eternity. And I can’t do that if I’m ensnared by porn. The blind can’t lead the blind! Again, my personal purity is not just about me!
There you go … that’s My Personal Purity Motivation … 52 reasons why I (as Christian man) need to stay the heck away from porn. As I said at the beginning of this episode, if any of my bullets fit your gun … take em and shoot em. Use em to kill the sin in your Christian life! As the old Puritan preacher, John Owen said … “Always be killing sin or sin will be killing you!”
To achieve your New Year’s Resolutions (or “GOALS“), you’ve got to learn to P-SMARTER-P. In this episode, Jason digs into the importance of Time-Framing … Evaluating … Readjusting … and Praying in order to get from where we are to where we need to be.
If you’re having trouble sticking with your New Year’s Resolutions/Goals, then you definitely need to check this out!
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In this episode of THE GRIZ PODCAST, Jason continues to walk us through the steps to achieve our New Year’s Resolutions or “GOALS.” It’s all about learning and implementing … P-SMARTER-P. If you want to go from where you are to where you need to be, then you really-really-really need to learn to P-SMARTER-P!